Tips for a Pure Courtship and Marriage – Emmanuel Afolabi

COURTSHIP: This is simply prelude to marriage, it is the next step after choice, and it is the act of paying close attention to one’s partner with a view of developing a more intimate relationship. It is also a period of engagement between two people that are planning to marry themselves as at their set time. The time of courtship is not the time for fornication, like the act of the people of the world, remember Hebrew 13:4 says ‘‘Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterer God will judge’’. If you don’t want to face God’s judgement, make sure you adhere strictly to this instruction. Also, the time of courtship is not the time for partying, and clubbing, or making unnecessary fun that could be dangerous to your marriage. Meanwhile, courtship is different form marriage, in the sense that both of you have not been joined together in Holy matrimony, unlike marriage that is a life contract in which there is no room for divorce. Now, we shall be looking at the various means by which a person can have pure and godly courtship.
1. Let the foundation of your courtship be laid on Christ the solid rock, this will go a long way to prevent you from falling into any form of premarital temptation.
2. Get your parent involved as your courtship must not be out of their consent. Also involve your pastor or marriage counsellor. For it is written in Proverb that in the multitude of counsel there is safety.
3. The time of courtship is solely should be the time to know yourself better, by praying together, studying the word together, asking meaningful questions about one another, about families, discussing about your past, present and your future. This must include the number of children you wish to have, where you will reside, your job situation, planning about how your family will be best among others e.t.c
4. Kissing, romancing, or spending weekends with your partner should not be encouraged during courtship; it is purely against God’s ordinances for pure courtship, because any of this can lead to fornication. Read Hebrew 13:14.
5. Avoid touching one another especially in the sensitive area, don’t pray or discuss in secret or dark places in order to avoid the temptation of falling into sin of fornication. Remember no matter how spiritual you may think you are, you are human and not angel. Beware!! Please.
6. Learn to put God always before you, and let Him be your greatest priority in courtship and this will help you in making right decision whatsoever even in marriage.

MARRIAGE: Marriage is an institution ordained by God for companionship, for fellowship, and sexual satisfaction between husband and wife in order to prevent sin of fornication or adultery. The first marriage happened between Adam and Eve the first creatures in the Garden of Eden. The book of Genesis 2:18 says ‘‘and the Lord God said ‘‘it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him’’. Therefore, only God who created each and every one of us knows who can best fit in to our lives majorly for the purpose He created us. That is the core reason why marriage is however defined as a legally recognized relationship established by a civil or religious ceremony between two people (a male and a female) who intends to live together as sexual and domestic partners. So any marriage that does not pass through a Holy solemnization or court order is practically illegal and is void of God’s purpose entirely. Also it is important to seek the consent and approval of your parents, pastor and marriage counsellor before setting out for marriage. You also need to understand the fact that, no challenge-free marriage. For the fact that God is the one that led you into the marriage does not exempt the marriage from crisis. However, what is important is that God will definitely see you through and you will surely overcome those challenges. Here are some tips that can lead to a successful marriage.


1. Have a genuine love for one another. This will go a very long way in tolerating one another’s weakness and celebrating your similarities.
2. Have a strong determination that whatever happens, your marriage will work and be a role model to others.
3. Be ready to pay any price which your decision may cost you.
4. Learn to keep memories of important event in your lives and marriage, and find ways of celebrating it. For instance, keeping memories of one another birthday, wedding anniversary, and some other memorable events. These will keep the marriage and make it to be lively.
5. Spend quality time with one another alone without the children, no matter your tight schedule, this refreshes your marriage and keep it alert romantically.
6. Don’t be distracted or become carried away with marriage pleasure at the expense of the main purpose of God joining you together as husband and wife. Make sure both of you fulfil your purpose on earth. This is crucial.
7. Make sure you raise godly children that will set a legacy in the future generation, by making your life to be an example for them.
8. Lastly, make sure you allow the Holy Spirit to rule in all the affair of your marriage and lives generally, as this will not only make you to have success in your marriage but also makes you a shining light to your generation.

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